Staying Strong

Why is it so easy to cave? It's like I am another person in that moment and I think, "It's fine, this one meal isn't going to make or break my success with weight loss...". But it IS. Because it's a downward spiral. And while I might be able to have some goodies in the future and then go right back to eating healthy, it's not something I can handle right now.

Last night I got a text from my husband on his way home from work. I missed his first call and his text said something like "if you want sushi answer your phone". I immediately assumed he was stopping at Miyako, our favorite place and where we can easily drop $75, and panicked.

I wanted their sushi. It's like crack. Who could say no to that???

I called him right away preparing to throw it all out the window. I've been working so hard this week. I made all the recipes I planned to, got a new cookbook (more about that later), and was dedicating myself to this journey. Was I ready to throw that out the window for one meal? Unfortunately, yes.

Until I talked to him and realized he was not at Miyako, but WHOLE FOODS! For a moment I was actually really disappointed, but then thankful. He was buying me brown rice, veggie sushi. I can totally eat that and not feel guilty!

Whew!

But I learned something. I cannot be tempted right now. Because I will cave. And I need to stay strong.


Okay, back to that cookbook I mentioned above. I am a new fan of Isa Chandra Moskowitz. She's all sorts of awesome! You can check out her website/blog here at Post Punk Kitchen. She follows a vegan diet and everything she cooks is vegan, but she does tend to use a lot of added oil which is not healthy. Vegan junk food is still junk food, remember!

But...her newest cookbook, Appetite for Reduction, is chock full of amazingly yummy looking vegan recipes that are lower in fat. Still a bit high for McDougall, but you can easily make them McDougall legal by simply omitting the teaspoon of oil she directs you to saute in or things like that. No big deal at all. The recipes look outstanding. I've picked out a few to make after we go shopping tonight and I will report back. Anyway, then I learned that her diagnosis of PCOS spurred her to write a lower fat cookbook. Since I also have PCOS it's so nice to get away from the typical (and less than stellar) recommendation to avoid all carbs, eat tons of protein, etc. Coincidence that the only way I've been able to ovulate on my own, and almost to the month no less, in practically my entire life is since I started a low fat, plant (starch) based diet? I think not!

I also just got the book Raising Vegetarian Children. The author uses the term vegetarian = vegan, so it's a great resource for us and our toddler!

I've been really bad about stepping on the scale almost every day, which, as a serial dieter my entire life I have been told over and over again is bad and I know it, so I'm going to pick one day a week to weigh in and stick to it. However, even with my recent up and down week after week of the same few lbs I have gone from 157-158 over the summer to currently sitting at 143. My "big goal" that I think I'm going to feel comfortable with is 115, but right now my goals are to hit 130 and then 120.

Happy New Year

Could I be any more sporadic with this freakin' thing? Um, no. But that's one of my resolutions I just decided. (yup, just now).

See, the thing is I have been "McDougalling", as I like to call it, since I got home from our New Orleans trip September 11, 2010. I've lost about 12 lbs since then and by most "safe" standards of weight loss this is still good. Especially when you don't have a ton to lose (I'd like to lose about 25 more) and have PCOS which "they say" makes weight loss super hard. (Not sure whether I truly believe that or not, but it seems to be consistent finding among PCOSers). Anyway, 12 lbs in 3 1/2 months isn't bad, but I know it could be better. Why?

Because, I will be honest, I cheat. I sabatoge myself and I don't know why, but I do. My only non vegan cheat is sushi from our favorite place (probably 5-7 times since Sept.) but I do a lot of vegan compliance yet McDougall cheating in terms of Qdoba veggie burritos, pizza without cheese, etc. It's really not cool. And I am done with it.

When I cheat, I always go back to some hard core McDougalling and lbs FALL off. Imagine what would happen if I was consistent and stayed there?! I probably would have double the weight loss right now.

But I won't dwell on the past. It is what it is. I freaking love this way of eating. I don't cheat because I feel restricted. I was cheating because I was being lazy. Too lazy to make something healthy that I loved, too lazy to say no to my favorite things, just lazy. It's really funny that the things I miss the least are meat and dairy. That is so easy to do without. It's the added fat and the refined carbs in things like Qdoba burritos. And it's sheer laziness because I know I can make the exact same thing at home over some brown rice - it just takes some planning. And when my husband calls, passing Qdoba, on his way home from work and I am tired from entertaining a 16 month old all day, it's EASY to say, "please get me a veggie burrito". And he's so nice in that he does anything I ask for, that he does. And if I tell him to say "no" to me, let's be honest, that doesn't put a guy in a good spot. And it's not his job to make sure I stick to a healthy eating plan. It's mine.

Recently a fire of sorts (ironically enough, not really anything to do with the new year, my feeling is if you are going to change, why wait til Jan 1???? It's just a date) has been lit under my ass. I want to show the world how easy and simple this is. Because it truly is.

Oh, another thing that has kicked my ass into gear is my Whole Foods. They started an Engine 2 (similar diet plan to McDougall) challenge for the employees and customers who want to participate. Every Tuesday evening they are holding cooking/info classes based on the E2 diet. I hadn't planned on signing up since I already McDougall (and driving 20 min. each way to be somewhere from 6:30-8 at night is less than appealing), but while shopping this week one of my fav. employees there was wearing the button about it and so we began talking about. She got me (and my mom, though she's already cheating! ha) to sign up, so I'm excited for that little extra (and free!) oomph!

I've been trying to plan my recipes a lot more and having been doing a lot more cooking. Right now gumbo (recipe is posted on her) is simmering on my stove for dinner. :) I just ordered this cookbook which comes with rave reviews from various sources, so I will be sure to post about that as well.